my father in law is great. my mother in law is a lot country, small town country, and every once in a while you get the feeling that it bothers her that her son married a "foreigner" (my mother is turkish).

Doesn't bother the hubby AT ALL! (lol) that he married a "foreigner".

But she is good to us when we need it, and knowing her situation being at home all the time with the father in law, whose pretty much home bound, makes it tolerable. So we get along, i just get along better with my father in law.

I love my in-laws! All four of them! Yes, I have two sets... mom and step-dad, dad and step-mom. Both steps have been around since my husband was little. If we ever split up, I'm pretty sure his parents would keep ME instead of him (especially his mom)! My husband gets along really well with my mom, too (no dad).

Dianne, that's too bad about your father in law. Just keep in mind that he's probably coming to terms with being on the backside of his life span, and he probably already feels some guilt, maybe subconsciously, about the situation with his sister. He probably also feels some guilt about the way he treated you. Sometimes the older generation of men don't really know how to go about "cleaning up" such messes, IMO. The best thing you can do is go on as normal like it never happened. Life is too short. You might feel less bothered by it if you forgive and forget. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about holding people responsible for their words and actions. But I think that elderly people are sometimes caught up in a lot of emotional, mental, and physical circumstances that we cannot even begin to relate to ourselves, not yet. I also think that when it comes to our parents, even our grandparents, we will always want to see them as we did when we were kids, so it's hard to accept that they may be anything less than that. Hard for them to accept, too, I'm sure.

Just my 2¢. Hope the day turned out ok.

:)

Remember, medications can alter their normal personalities, too. Sometimes their own changing internal chemicals can cause personality changes.

But as I said before, I think a lot of it is fear and denial, and STRESS, about heading into a new dimension of life. Think about what stress can do to YOU. Now imagine a deteriorating brain that is unsure if it will even make it to tomorrow having to deal with stress.

It's "easier" to ignore those aches, or that little bit of trouble breathing, because then it will just go away and be forgotten... too trivial to bother the doc with, it will all get better on it's own... But they know better, and they stress, and it makes them cranky when they normally wouldn't be. It can kinda get like dealing with a two year old... sometimes you just gotta let them be. Remember, we do reach a point in our lives where we start "growing backwards" regarding everything physical, mental, emotional, and developmentally. We have to try to be the best child/friend/caretaker we can be... because one day that will be us.